In March, 1992 it was with great joy that I started ministry at the Dr. Charles A. Janeway Child Health Centre as Chaplain. At the request of Archbishop James MacDonald D.D., my role was to provide a greater pastoral presence among the young patients, their families and staff members. On that winter's day in March my ministry commenced with little knowledge of what I would face as I visited each young patient, listened to parents and family members and learned from the medical professionals about impending life and death situations.

The Intensive Care Unit, the Nursery and Wards all provided real life stories filled with joys and sadnesses. I would stand by as pre-mature babies fought to live while teenagers wanted to die. The many stories would often challenge my thinking as to what might be considered normal in a setting where accidents, disease, birth defects and struggles would not always be in vain. For three and a half years stories were told of "miracle" children who survived not only through medical intervention but certainly with the grace of God! I took exception, nothing that even children who died were "miracles" in their own way. One such case was that of Katharine Kearley.

Katharine was born on October 15, 1993 with a heart defect and was not expected to live past three months. Her short life, with the struggles and joys are often reminders of "miracle" children. Her parents, Chris and Marg; along with her young brother Edward all shared in the difficult times, especially in the early stages of Katharine's life. There should have been a need to grasp at straws, a time to bargain with God or even a promise or sacrifice that could have been made in exchange for Katharine's recovery and well being. Yet, there was no cure!

That didn't mean that Katharine would not be cared for. Her parents, along with Edward would so often walk into the Intensive Care Unit as proud people, all knowing their roles during each visit. In a hospital setting, realizing the demands of staff and the needs of surrounding young patients, Chris, Marg and Edward portrayed a beam of light, a sign of hope and a breath of love amidst the trauma and turmoil. They were, in effect, something good happening in an environment where there was no room for mistakes and no solace in guess work. A person did not have to look far to see the concern and care that Katharine's family held for her. They were indeed a blessing for staff who realized that Katharine was loved so much from a family that exceeded all efforts to ensure the quality of life for Katharine would be all that they could give.

The family were excited about the possibility of bringing Katharine home once in a while. The house would have to undergo a number of changes so that their child could continue to receive proper care. Parents were trained and even little Edward would be given a role to play every time Katharine was able to return home. It is no wonder that Katharine would live well beyond the pre-supposed three months! There were birthday parties at six and twelve months. The joy was unbelievable as family, friends and even staff from the Janeway would gather to celebrate. Katharine, with tubes in her nose and a skin color that was a constant reminder of her suffering was always eager to smile for any audience. She loved to be surrounded by others!

In my role it is not always easy to stand next to parents as they watched their child succumb to death. It was not always easy to understand what was happening. There was anger towards God, blaming of others and anguish from parents from one visit to the next. With the Kearley family, hope was an astonishing element; a hope that enabled one little child to defy the odds and live! My God is a loving God and I firmly believe that every life has intention, despite age. We must be able to find God in our lived circumstance. Katharine and her family were certainly instruments of a loving God, proving that our task is never too great when we are called to love so that others might live!

There were many extreme situations in their concern for Katharine. There were close calls when Katharine would near death. Through it all her parents and even little Edward was touched with a willingness and readiness to respond to any emergency situation. The love of the Kearley family for their daughter still resonates in my heart as I discovered in my ministry that through a God given genuine love, the odds can be beaten. The maturity of Edward at so young an age spoke loudly for all who would see this proud brother caring so much for his sick sister. Quality of life was certainly a virtue that was upheld even though little Katharine's life would not be long.

I watched Katharine from the first day. Tubes and treatments were all all constant reminders of the severity of Katharine's heart condition. The long hours spent by Chris, Marg and Edward sitting next to the crib, hoping for the best. The many staff who could not avoid the reality of impending death; looking beyond the smiles and laughter of a little child who was unaware of her lived reality. There were tears and laughter; there was also love and hope! The struggles through helplessness and hopelessness were overshadowed with each smile Katharine would share, even in her most difficult times. She was always a bundle of joy even though she was hurting. There were no cameras to tell her story, but Katharine was truly a "miracle" child whose life mirrors the qualities that may not be told except through the eyes of the beholder.

Katharine's life was truly a blessed experience. Medical intervention helped Katharine live but the primary source of life was a remarkable sense that goes without explanation. Parents struggled, Edward worried and yet there is no shame in their efforts as they reached out to do all they could for a child that brought joy through her many smiles. Katharine suffered and smiled! She lived because she was and knew love! What greater healing is there?

I remember the day Katharine died and being called to the Janeway to meet the parents. It was February 28, 1995 and another wintery day when Chris and Marg brought the body of little Katharine in through emergency. Amidst the sense of loss, gratitude and appreciation was the predominant expression from proud parents who were not angry but happy for all who shared Katharine's story. In the silence of my heart I expressed my thanks to God for Chris, Marg and Edward, knowing their struggle, sharing their story and the friendship that still continues.