November 6,1997

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song

This is the next instalment of the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play.
Let's meet the characters.
You'll love them I'm sure.

First of all there is our friend named Albert, he's quite a guy.
How may he help you please?
He'll get down on his knees
for you.
Then of course there is Harold, he works all night and sleeps all day.
He forgets his pants.
Not much for romance
or anything.

Next is Jeff the private investigator, he know his stuff.
What is that you say?
He has a weird way
of showing it.

Oh Wendy play by me, you are so pretty and so caring.
Won't you please come in?
Would you like some gin
to drink with me.
Enjoy the show now you are ready to be carried away. Just sit right down and be captivated and sucked into their day.
Sucked into their day.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play
Part 2

Cast: Arnold- Devin Armstrong (prerecorded)
Harold- Jim Vernon
Jeff- Kit
Wendy- me
Harold- Well, it's like this. It was about 09:00h and I was just getting ready to go to bed-

Jeff- And tell me harold, do you go to bed so early in the morning because your alarm clock is set for PM rather than AM, an you haven't yet been able to figure out how to change it?

(LAUGHTER)

Arnold- Close Jeff. Actually Harold works the night shift at an electronics factory. You're lucky to have a great P.I. like Jeff on your side Harold.

Jeff- You give me too much credit Arnold. To tell you the truth, it was just that I had been sleeping days for about a month because I couldn't change the setting before I figured out to buy a new alarm clock.

(LAUGHTER)

Jeff- But you digress Arnold. I believe Harold was about to relate his important and personal news to us all.

Wendy- Yes, I'm quite intrigued by all this. Go on Harold, let it all out.

Harold- Well, I was about to go to bed, as I said, when the phone range.

Jeff- You sure it wasn't your alarm clock Jeff? Cause you know-

Wendy- Shush Jeff, let him finish.

Harold- So I answered the phone and who do you think it was?


Arnold- Not your mother Harold.

Harold- My mother's dead Arnold.

(LAUGHTER)

Arnold- I know Harold.

Jeff- Well then I couldn't have been his mother if she's dead Harold... could it?

Wendy- Of course not Jeff. Now let Harold talk already. Go ahead Harold.

Harold- Well, it was my boss at the electronics factory. It turns out that a couple of big guys had gone over there looking for me. When my boss refused to give them my address, they started wrecking his office, and telling him that he'd have to take off a lot of sick days real soon if he didn't.

Jeff- Were they doctors?

Wendy- Shhh!

(LAUGHTER)

Arnold- What were they looking for you for Harold?

Harold- Well, that's the personal part. It seems that a prank I pulled a long time ago has caught up to me.

Wendy- Oh my goodness. Karma.

Jeff- If you give me the last name of this Karma guy, I'll find him for you and tell him to lay off. Do you have his address?

(LAUGHTER)

Arnold- Your mind works too fast for me Jeff.

Harold- There is no Karma, Jeff.

Wendy- So what prank had you pulled?

Harold- Well, when I was about eighteen or so, I was washing dishes at a greasy spoon.

Jeff- Why didn't you just wash the spoon?

Wendy- Shhh!

(LAUGHTER)

Harold- Anyway, one day the owner of the diner drove up in her shiny, snobby Alfa Romeo, comes in with her boyfriend, and orders everything off of the menu- even the pumpkin pie!

Arnold- They must have been hungry.

Jeff- Actually, it's more likely that she was expressing what psychologists have called "Plethoforic Requisition of Currently Possessed Victuals Syndrome."

Arnold- Now that's just stupid Jeff.

Wendy- Shh! Go on Harold.

Harold- Well, if you knew anything about the pumpkin pie at that diner, you'd know how hard it is to clean the plate it is eaten off of. So I decided to play a little trick on Miss. Hotshot so that she'd think twice before doing that again.

Wendy- What did you do?

Harold- Well, I didn't want to do anything too mean- like slashing her tires or scratching her car door- you have to import those types of things for foreign cars. So I just cut her brake line.

Arnold- And now she's sending men to beat you up? Harold- Well, a little more happened.

Jeff- She had to import a new break line I bet. You'd think that car companies would make their cars more compatible with each other for their customers. IT's enough to drive anyone to have someone bludgeoned.

(LAUGHTER)

Harold- No, she didn't even try to get a new break line. When they left, after stuffing themselves, she found that she couldn't stop her car.

Wendy- So what happened to her?

Harold- Last I had heard, she was just entering Kentucky.

(LAUGHTER)

Harold- I thought I'd seen the last of her, but it seems she's got a long memory, cause it's three years later and now she's trying to get me back.

Wendy- That's terrifying.

Harold- The irony of all this is that they took the pumpkin pie with them, plate and all!

Arnold- I feel for you Harold, but I don't see why you feel it's so personal.

Harold- Well, I didn't mention why she might be especially displeased with me on top of cutting her break line.

Jeff- You bought out all of the already imported ones?

Harold- No...

Arnold- Well what is it Jeff?

Harold- This is really difficult to admit.

Jeff- You weren't wearing any pants when you bought out all of the already imported break lines.

(LAUGHTER)

Harold- No...

Wendy- Oh please Harold, don't keep us in suspense!

Harold- Well...

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©Louis Marrone, 1998