May 13,1998

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Theme Song

I'm getting mighty confused now,
I just don't know where I am,
Until I think of the places
From which I have ran.

Reg is Steve and the Hot Dog Lady
Is waiting by her hot dog booth.
I'd eat my hot dog without a napkin
But I think that is uncouth.

And it's alright,
Guelph's most preeminent Beatnick is with me once more.
Perhaps my life will get straightened out
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

It's hard to get up in the morning,
And painful to find out what is left
Of all the things that before that morning
I wished to accomplish.

Yes Robin might be calling,
All the way from Alaska.
He's trailing by two hours
And an introduction.

But it's alright,
Who really knows anyone?
I'm here to give up trying
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

And maybe I can get it touch with Dally
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

And perhaps Francis if I can figure out the phone
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song

This is the next installment of the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play.
Is interest only manifested,
When curt answers are deflected,

and hense motives revealed?

Ajkox or should I say "Jeff 2" is in a very nice fix.
Jeff will soon see him as a Guinee
Pig for Scientific Community.

they're only doing their job.

Stacy has choices like she's never had before and it hurts
It's not like living with no thought at all.
Responsibility is a hard call.

And it's not for everyone.

Jeff's trying hard to have Harold and Avro out of the house.
For what we know not yet.
I think that he may wish to get

the house for himself.

Oh Wendy Played by me you are so pretty and so caring.
You've lost the threat of being torn
In two as a result of the scorn

with which you spoke of ice-cream.

No one has proven herself quite yet to be a hero or dud.
Maybe if it was more like life.
Most of the hardship and strife

would happen to just one.

Would happen to just one.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play

Cast: Wendy- me

Any-Name-Beginning-With-"A"- Rebecca

Jeff- me

Stacy- Rebecca

Harold- Rebecca and I took turns. We gave Harold a nasal quality to his voice. I began.

Ahois- Prove it, Jeff. Prove that we're not human. You know, you're getting more and more absurd as time goes on. The only thing which makes me continue to try to have a reasonable conversation with you is that I know you can't believe what your saying.

Jeff- Whose being absurd now? You know what I'm thinking? You, who are not even human.

Stacy- Please stop it, Jeff. You're scaring me.

Jeff- I'm scaring you?! I'm scaring you. That's funny. You have two violent, unpredictable animals within arm's length, and you're afraid of me.

Stacy- But they're only Harold and Anotergie.

Jeff- Stacy, let me do the nomeclature around here, alright. They may look like Harold and Artur, but they're not. Look at "Jeff"'s limbs- those aren't human. And I don't think I have to point out the excess flesh lying around "Jeff 2"'s body. He looks more like a walrus than a human.

Stacy- But Harold was squished against the wall by Aerated's former emmence size.

Jeff- Don't try to justify their existence, Stacy.

Harold- Forget trying to reason with him, Stacy. Just untie Mr. Paramedic Men, and they'll subdue him.

Jeff- But you forget, "Jeff", that the Scientific Community has arrived to take you to their lab for identification. And they'll probable appeal to Mr. Paramedic Men to help them do it. Go ahead, Stacy, untie Mr. Paramedic Men.

Wendy- Well you know you know I'm not quite sure now how to take Jeff and you know I know that there are a few different meanings to that phrase but I mean it to mean understand and it's not that I doubt what I believe to be the truth, but what he believes to be the truth how are you're arms Stacy?

Stacy- Wha' Oh, ya, I'm helping you hold up the ceiling. They're fine actually. I think you're taking most of the weight, Wendy.

Asiohfd- Scientific Community, listen to me. Either I'm the outcome of the reversal of a curse laid upon my by Harold, rendering me bigger than the house- creating the mess you see here,- not quite reversing properly, leaving the excess flesh you see here, or I am in fact another species, with the capability to speak like a human, and who looks just like one except for an incredible amount of excess flesh.

Jeff- Well, that's the question, isn't it Scientific Community. A question which deserves an answer I think.

Harold- Why don't you tell Scientific Community, why it is that you wish for Ather-

Jeff- -"Jeff 2"-

Harold- -and me-

Jeff- -"Jeff"-

Harold- -to be out of the picture.

Jeff- This is radio.

Harold- Don't try to change the subject, tell them.

Jeff- I don't know what you mean.

Stacy- But I thought we had a plan, Jeff.

Jeff- Shut up, Stacy.

Aoihs- Ah, hah! Ah, hah! He's hiding something.

Wendy- You know you know I could hold up this ceiling all day but I am getting awfully thirsty you know so you know now that I want to drink so badly I'm going to forget all else but that and simply go get one you know because I have needs too and no one seems to have remembered that you know while I keep a roof over their heads and they talk about things which would be irrelevent should I let go.

Stacy- Wendy! No! I can't hold up the ceiling by myself!

Jeff- My God, Wendy, you're walking to the kitchen!

Wendy- I have a right to.

Harold- Quick! Jeff! Hold up the ceiling!

Stacy- Hurry, Jeff, I can't do it much longer!

Jeff- Ohhhhhh. Jeeez. OK. OK. I can't let my house fall down. Here.

Aodhsif- What did you call it?

Jeff- What?

Aophhiesof- What did you call my house.

Jeff- I don't know. Does it matter?

Aohis- Yes, you called it your house. Your house, you called it. What does that mean.

Jeff- Listen, no one will have a house if I stop holding it up, so just shut-up.

Wendy- You know I remember when we were all friends you know you know do you remember Christmas though you weren't there Stacy but you know we all had presents for each other and learned about each other but you know I don't think we really did learn about each other because I think differently about all of you now-

Jeff- -that's your split personalities-

Wendy- And you're all acting very different than what I thought the people you were would act though you know that's not really true because I can see right through all of you but would have thought that if I couldn't.

Harold- What's she talking about.

Ahsfio- Oh, she has this power to see straight into peoples souls. But she doesn't let that affect how she would act around people if she couldn't. So we never mention it. I had forgotten about it quite frankly.

Harold- You mean she can see exactly what's in the heart of anyone she meets.

Ashod- Ya, I didn't believe it at first. But then she would start telling me exactly what I meant by everything that I said. I couldn't beat around the bush in anything until I learned to meake my intentions obvious and made "beating around the bush" the most important thing in my life.

Jeff- Wow. The power that could give someone.

Stacy- OK. OK. Wendy, what do I want, right now?

Wendy- A log cabin.

Stacy- Damn, I was trying to shroud it with "world peace". She's good.

Harold- So Wendy, why don't you tell us what Jeff is really planning. Surely you've known all along that he's been decieviing us.

Wendy- Well...

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©Louis Marrone, 1998