May 6, 1998
The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Theme Song
Time is running quickly,
But I'm not far behind.
Unless it is that I'm mistaken
In that people are truly kind.
I'm not sure if the plan is working,
Or if selves are being fooled
Into thinking that there's a place for them
In this seemingly exclusive world.
But it's alright,
I guess time will only tell.
Thoough it's been a secretive fellow
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
My hunger has kept me going.
Thank god food's so hard to get.
If I had a silver spoon
I think my friends I'd soon forget.
I can do a whole lot better.
In fact I really always have.
The the mistakes that I have frequently made
Have been a good camaflage for that.
But it's alright,
The next level will have to be stumbled upon.
It's not who you know, but what you don't
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
And I have Guelph's most reputable beatnik here
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
And I'll ask her and Dave out for a beer
After the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
I'd like to see if I'm still on my feet in a year
On some Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song
This is the next installment of the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio
Play.
Chaos wasn't really so bad,
When everyone relatively had
an idea of what was going on.
Can Aspire save his wife Wendy from the seemingly dastardly
intentions of Jeff?
Not only is his world falling apart,
But also his house and his oversufficient flesh-
and perhaps his heart.
Stacy can make a choice now, can she look inside enough to find
out what she thinks.
And if she does will she ever know
If what she find does not have below
it another part of her?
Jeff used to be the one that everybody thought got the short end
of the stick.
Maybe he found out nice guys finished last,
Or played one in his unsuspecting cast
to collect the play's revenues.
Oh Wendy played by me you are so pretty and so caring.
Each of your sentences are being called
The effect of others that have been hauled
from your most secret place.
Harold is still in the corner, he's hurting but so may everyone
else once down comes the house.
I don't know if structures and feelings
Can be fixed simultaeniously.
But I sure hope they can.
I sure hope they can.
The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play
Cast: Wendy- me
Jeff- Dally
Harold-Rebecca
Any-Name-Beginning-With-"A"- Dally
Stacy- Rebecca
Jeff- I'm telling you Stacy, take Wendy away now while she's
still exhibiting her unkind personality. If we don't snatch it
away now, and dispose of it, she may be inflicted by this
unsavoury second self for the rest of her life!
Afhsio- Don't listen to him Stacy! He's trying to trick you.
Wendy doesn't have a split personality any more than you do.
Stacy- Please! Everyone. Just leave me alone for a minute to
decide what to do. Now, I want to help Wendy because I don't
want to see her inflicted with this mental dis-ease-
Aoihsdf- -there's nothing wrong with h-
Stacy- -but I don't want to pull her away because she's the only
one holding up the house-
Jeff- -we'll be out of here with Wendy- uh, I mean her one half-
before it falls down completely-
Stacy- -but Jeff says this is the only opportunity to save her-
Asohfi- -hey, what will happen to Harold and I if the house falls
down?-
Stacy- -but Harold and Afatman are telling me that Jeff's lying
and that Wendy's not really sick-
Jeff- -would you put your own lives before Wendy?-
Stacy- Oh! I don't know what to do?
Jeff- Forget it! I'll do it.
Harold- Achkrit! Stop him!
Aojis- I can't. My excess flesh anchors me to the ground.
Harold- Well I can't. My limbs are all mangled. Stacy! Please
stop him.
Stacy- Actually, I'm too confused. It occurs to me now that I've
never really quite been in peace with myself, and as a
consequence have never really been able to read others. I don't
know my own ethics, and I certainly don't know who is right and
who is wrong on this issue.
(CRASH)
Jeff- Ahhhh! Who's this! Who tackled me?
Asohf- It was Mr. Paramedic Men.
Harold- Thank-you Mr. Paramedic Men.
Wendy- Yes thank-you you know though I haven't really said
anything until now because the ceilings kind of heavy not that
I'm complaining but I could use a drink you know but if I talked
too much or tried to ask for some which might just be the same
thing if I knew what "too much" was but really does anyone know
but I'm speaking now you know so that I can thank Mr. Paramedic
Men you know because if Jeff had caught me you know I don't think
I'd be here now but now now now you know that I have no breath I
think I can't you know hold the ceiling any more so now I have to
say you know good-bye Mr. Paramedic Men good-bye.
Aohisf- Wendy, my love. Don't give up now. Not now that you're
so close to allowing my life to continue.
Jeff- Let go of me Mr. Paramedic Men. You don't know who you're
dealing with. I have powers.
Stacy- Here Wendy, let me help you.
Harold- Quick, Mr. Paramedic Men. Tie him up. He's a menace to
society and should be locked away.
Jeff- Don't listen to him Mr. Paramedic Men. He's not even of
our kind. He's a new species that I discovered call "Jeff". We
are waiting now for representatives of the scientific community
to come and proclaim him and the other one there- the one I call
"Jeff 2"- two new species that I discovered. That one in the
corner is clever. You see, I made up that whole thing about
Wendy's second personality so that I could get her out of his
reach.
Harold- But I'm crippled. She's not in my reach.
Stacy- You told me that I helped you devise that plan. And you
never said anything about it not being in earnest.
Jeff- Oh please, who would believe a stupid story like that one.
You can't say someone has a split personality just because she
acts differently around some people than others- only if she
acts differently around the same person.
Stacy- But, but I don't understand.
Jeff- You don't have to, Stacy. All you have to do is grab Wendy
so that Mr. Paramedic Men will get afraid of the falling building
and we can all escape the clutches of that evil "Jeff".
Adfshio- Harold! What are you doing? How are you managing to
move about?
Stacy- Look, he's heading towards Jeff and Mr. Paramedic Men with
a determined look in his eyes.
Wendy- Well you know I know I mean I don't know about anyone
anymore you know I've always thought Jeff was nice you know and
everyone else too you know like Harold and even Apartmant I mean
of course Ablotom but you know now if I have to say which one is
right and which one is wrong I wouldn't know.
Asdiho- Wendy, believe me. Jeff's not to be trusted.
Jeff- Wendy, believe me. Harold's not to be trusted.
Harold- Wendy, believe me. Stacy's not to be trusted.
Stacy- Wendy, believe me. I don't even know what I think.
(LAUGHTER)
Ahsio- My god! Jeff managed to break free of Mr. Paramedic Men.
He tied them up with their own rope.
Harold- Stay right there, Jeff. Don't move a muscle. Once I
drag myself over there, I'm going to give you a sound beating.
Jeff- You're already giving me a sound beating with all that
nonsense you're talking. Here, let me help you get to me.
Stacy- Jeff, leave him alone. He's just a cripple.
Jeff- I told you, he's not a cripple. He's another species.
Wendy- Well you know I wouldn't have believed it you know but you
know if you look at the door there's some people there coming in
though you know I can't believe they're actually coming in you
know because I don't think I can hold the house up much longer
and I'm not sure about Stacy but did you happen to see if they're
carrying any drinks?
Jeff- I can't believe it. They've actually come.
Stacy- Who are they.
Harold- No. I can't believe it.
Asohi- It's The Scientific Community!
Jeff- Quick scientific community, label these two new species
"Jeff" and "Jeff 2", and take them away. They need to be cloned
and dissected.
Wendy- I don't think that they're who you say they are Jeff.
Stacy- Ya, what evidence do you have that they're not just one
man with disjointed limbs and another with excess flesh?
Jeff- Well...
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©Louis Marrone, 1998