April 22, 1998

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Theme Song

Cast: Wendy- me
The rest of the characters were taken by Devin, Jim and I. I can't remember which one took which at the moment, but I'll fill it in when I do
Words are always ill-spoken,
That's why I like to sing.
Even though I sounds mighty nasty
If you listen to Kathy.

New things are always scary.
That's why we're trying one now.
Interupted only by Jenni's call,
And Public Service Annou- ncements.

But it's alright,
Improvisations only difficult if you know
That there's people listening,
Unlike on the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
This is Devin right here.

I don't know how or if this is working
I only know that I'm here too.

There's a new link on my web page:
www dot golden dot net slash squigly line biggles.
Of places to view some live bands
With whom I'll hopefully have interviews.
And It's alright,
I'm not sure how much will come from my throat.
But my soul is ready to spill the beans
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

And everyone's gotta try new things
On the Wednesday @ 22:ooh Show.

Or else the world is made up of familiar themes,
Like on the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song

This is the next installment of The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play.
It managed to survive another week.
Though everyone in the house all seek
Each others' death.
Aflog is too big to leave throught the door, he's got too much excess flesh.
Mr. Paramedic Men must try,
And squeeze this over fleshiated guy
into a hospital bed.
Stacy seems to be playing along, not that I think she ever knew what was going on.
She's being tutored by Jeff
On how to say more by saying less.
They're being decieving.
And Jeff has spun a ruse, at least that's how I interpret it.
He's trying to make Wendy insane
To rid himself of any blame
from planning Afdot's death.
Oh Wendy played by me you are so pretty and so caring.
Now that you are out of the room
Getting drinks do you assume
that everything's not there.
Everything's not there.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song

Jeff- Well, you see, the plan that Stacy and I came up with-

Stacy- It was my plan too?

Jeff- -to rid your wife Wendy of the obvious split personality that she possessed-

Stacy- Oh ya, that's right, it was my plan too.

Jeff- -was to lure one of them out, knock her out and drag her to some remote place and dispose of her.

Adoshfi- My wife?! You wanted to dispose of my wife?!

Jeff- Only one half of her.

Aodsfh- Only one half of her? You know Jeff, I was beginning to think over the last few episodes that you aren't as dumb as I thought you were. But now I'm beginning to think that you stumbled upon a state-of-mind that seemed sane by accident; just as you stumble upon any of your thoughts.

Jeff- You only think that, Athgrot, because you don't possess the same experiential knowledge that I do.

Ahiohs- I have enough experience to know that you're talking nonsense. And That there's no way that you can kidnap only one of a person's personalities.

Stacy- Are you sure I helped come up with this plan.

Jeff- But it is you, Aprocotton, who knows not the ways which things can be done. Because I did the very thing you call impossible, two years ago to a very good friend of mine from Argentina.

Afoshi- Fine. So, assuming you could do this, how would you know which personality to destroy?

Jeff- Well, the unkind one, of course.

Stacy- Yes, the unkind one. That was my idea.

Aiodhsfi- And how would you determine the unkind one?

Stacy- Well, that's simple.

Jeff- Yes, we had a test.

Ahsoi- Oh?

Jeff- We would ask each one of her personalities the same question, and see which one of them answered more politely. Then, once we determined which one of them was more callous, we would draw her out, as I said, kidnap her and destroy her.

Ahidso- And what is the question you're going to ask?

Jeff- The question? Oh, well, stacy thought of that one.

Stacy- Oh. I did? I guess that's right. Yup, the question was my baby.

Aioh-So what was it, Stacy?

Stacy- What? The question? Oh, well, it was... uhm... "Do you like ice-cream?"

Afohsi- "Do you like ice-cream."

Jeff- Yes, that was the question.

Ahsoh- And what if one of her personalities happened to have a bad experience with ice-cream and answers curtly, and yet is, most of the time the nicer of the personalities?

Jeff- That's a risk which must be taken in all experiments.

Adsioh- And How will you know when one personality has come and the other gone?

Jeff- Well I've already told you that a different personality presents herself to STacy, than to me. So we will each ask Wendy the question seperately.

Ahsio- And what if the more kinder Wendy, the one which I would probably understand better, happens to present herself to you, and because you're so taxing on a person, and an all around questionable character, she gives you a rude answer- as I would probably do myself? And then, the more unkind, less amiable Wendy, answers Stacy- that sweet girl- in a very nice way? And what, because of these answers, if you destroy the wrong personality?

Jeff- Well now you're just getting silly Aptitude. Oh, shhhhh, here she comes now, back with the drinks.

Wendy- Well here we are you know I know you know that it happened again and that's why it took so long you know but you know I spilled about a sip from each of your drinks again except for yours dear because you know I thought by now Mr. Paramedic men would have gotten you out of the house by now and so I spilled all of yours in one gulp but it seems that they still can't get you through the door which means that the drink wouldn't have helped anyway and you know you know I spilled Harold's drink in one big swallow because you know well he was dead but now you see he seems to be getting better-

Aohsi- What! It's true! Harold's coming to. Harold! Can you hear me? It's Albert.

Jeff- Of course he can't hear you. That breathing you see is simply a reflective action of the dead body, brought about by the energy created by our own particular dynamics meshing in a particular way to bring about the effect. It's rare, but it happens.

Stacy- I don't know, Jeff. It looks to me like He's coming to.

Jeff- Shut-up, Stacy.

Ahsoi-Mr. Paramedic men, leave me for a moment and care for Harold there. Please.

Wendy- YEs you know because he was going to tell us about Jeff and Stacy's plan you know oh and he's our friend or rather he's everyone else's friend but mine you know since I had to proclaim my love for him and promise to live with him forever you know I guess that makes me more than a friend and you know I guess he's really not Aghrodten's friend since Harold stole me away from him and made him larger than our house, damaging it and leaving Augro with too much excess flesh to get him out of the house.

Stacy- Hey Wendy! Do you like ice-cream?

Wendy- What?

Ahsdfo- Not now, Stacy!

Stacy- But it was my question, and I wanted to ask it.

Jeff- It's alright Stacy. You go right ahead.

Stacy- So Wendy, do you like ice-cream?

Wendy- Ice-cream? Well you know I mean you know I had it twice you know and the first time I liked ice-cream and the second I didn't and you know now I'm not sure.

Stacy- That didn't seem particularily nice or mean, Jeff.

Ahfdsio- I'm telling you people, don't do this now. Frankly, I don't think this was your plan at all. And now that Harold's coming to, he'll be able to tell us just what you were up to.

Jeff- Hey, Wendy. Tell me, I was always wondering this about you. Do you like ice-cream?

Wendy- Well...

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©Louis Marrone, 1998