April 15, 1998

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Theme Song

And it's alright,
My neice didn't really mean to spit.
She got excited by the Front Face Lock
And The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

And I know it sounds like I'm never going to host a book burning party, but it's happening
For The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show

And I'll fulfill my life's dreams in the next couple of weeks
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

And Toronto seems like a nice place to meet
After the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

And Steve Bell's mine if Ken will take my shift,
For the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song

This is the next installment of the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play.
Things seem to be coming to a head,
At least it seems that Harold is dead.

Or is he just sleeping?

Arfbong is in earnest now, he must find out Jeff's plan before he is stuffed,
Into the abulance,
They'll slam the door on is flesh

and his confidence.

Stacy is quite content to explain all as soon as she finds,
Out what it is she must say.
Jeff seems to know all that they

have been thinking of.

Oh Jeff you are so sly, you had us all thinking you were a nice guy.
Of course looks can be deceiving.
Even what we're now perceiving.

You might have angelic thoughts.

Oh Wendy played by me you are so pretty and so caring.
It might be up to you to crack,
The story cause you have a nack

of seeing things straight.

It almost seems that all must blow up or find a new place
To begin all again.
Do you all remember when

Everyone was friends.

When everyone was friends.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play

Wendy- Well I'm not quite sure what to do you know because well you're being carried away and all to the hospital and it looks like Harold's dead and Jeff and Stacy have some weird plan to destroy what's nearest to our hearts you know and I can only think that that could be booze but you know if I didn't know better you know I'd say I've given up you know and think that I'll just let what happen happen you know like that famous guy said to do who jumped out the window and killed himself.

Asfho- Wendy! Please! These paramedics are taking me away. Defend our- my- house with the vigour with which you defended my life against Harold by making him believe you actually loved him.

Wendy- But dear you know I'm not sure that I don't love Har-

Afhil- Wendy! There's no need to try to cover up your heroism. I don't want to hear it. YOU UNDERSTAND. I don't want to hear it.

Jeff- Well, this is all very sweet, but you know Mr. Paramedic men, if you don't get him to the hospital, I'm afraid he won't make it.

Stacy- Well it only stands to reason that if he doesn't get to the hospital, he's not going to make it.

Asdhio- Did you hear that Mr. Paramedic men? He threatened me! He knows very well that I'm not in any serious condition other than my excess of flesh. He means to do me harm if I'm not taken away.

Stacy- That's not what you meant is it Jeff? I'm not sure I could be a part of anything like-

JEff- Why is it I feel like I'm losing control? Why does everything all of a sudden seem very complicated?

Wendy- Well you know not that I know but you know before you were stupid, even if you really weren't, and you didn't have to worry about what other people said or did you know because you wouldn't understand them anyway or at least you know didn't need to because you're plan hadn't started yet you know but now you're on the part where you should have been in control because your stupidity happily led us all to self-contradiction, but now you know that you get to be smart you know you miss the simplici-

Ashdio- I said "let me go!" Mr. Paramedic men! Let me go!

Stacy- Jeff, you know maybe Wendy's right. Maybe you were closest to who you really were when you thought that you were playing at being someone else.

Jeff- Don't be stupid Stacy. You just do what I told you to do when we got to this point-

Stacy- What point?

Jeff- The point in the plan.

Stacy- But you never anticipated Harold blowing Athynoshering up to a size larger than the house and threatening it's stability. And you certainly didn't anticipate his demand that Wendy proclaim his love for her and vow to spend the rest of her life with him or else he'd destroy Alplocton.

Jeff- But I allowed for the possibility.

Wendy- Just what is the plan?

Stacy- Well you see-

Jeff- Shut up Stacy!

Ahisohfd- Ah ha! Ah ha! Don't let him speak to you that way Stacy. You have the right to say whatever you want to say!

Stacy- I do?

Aiojioh- Of course you do.

Jeff- OK. Enough is enough. Wendy, could you get me a drink?

Wendy- Could I?!

(LAUGHTER)

(FOOTSTEPS)

Ashodif- Hey! What's the big idea ordering my wife around?

Jeff- Listen to me Awestrofoyer. I'm going to tell you why Stacy and I have been so secretive about our plans.

Stacy- You are?

Jeff- Yes. It was for Wendy's sake that we haven't been saying anything. The shock of Harold's death is bad enough. We didn't want to cause her anymore unnecessary stress.

Adsohif- So, what is it?

Jeff- Well, you see, Stacy and I met about a year ago. Isn't that right Stacy?

Stacy- Well...

Jeff- Stacy, isn't it right that what I'm saying has truth in it somewhere if interpreted correctly and that therefor what I'm saying is right?

Stacy- Oh yes, we did meet a year ago.

Asdhioh- Oh yes, you did meet a year ago.

Jeff- So, in our meeting we soon found out about our mutual friends Wendy and Axident.

Stacy- That's you and Wendy.

Jeff- Me and who?

(LAUGHTER)

Stacy- No who, him.

Jeff- Oh, anyway. Upon comparing what we knew of Wendy, it occured to us that we saw two totally different sides of her. Stacy saw a sweet woman who stayed at home out of the pure enjoyment of remaining in one place for extended periods of time.

Aoshfid- I can see that.

Jeff- And I saw a woman who ached for the life imagined by all free souls, in which she had no home- hardly a self- and simply went to wherever she was.

Aihos- I can see that too.

Jeff- Well then, you can see what conclusion we had to come to. Wendy is obviously a victim of multi personality sydrome, with at least two different souls occupying her body. Stacy and I's testimonies of what Wendy is like attests to that. Isn't that what happened Stacy?

Stacy- Still under the understanding that anything is right if interpreted correctly?

Jeff- Yes.

Stacy- Then that is exactly what happened.

Aodhhi- Then that is exactly what happened. It's all so clear to me. And all this time I though I had some sort of problem when it was Wendy all along. So, Jeff, what kind of plan did you and Stacy come up with to help my wife? Please tell me before Mr. Parmedic men figure out how to get me to the hospital.

Stacy- Yes. What was the plan?

Jeff- Well...

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©Louis Marrone, 1998