April 1,1998

The Wednesday @ 22:00h SHow Theme Song

The weather is very much nicer now,
The snow is far away.
And I don't know what's happening tonight,
So I'll sing the song in this long way.

Story's often hard to tell,
When it's too close to home.
So I'll just have to find myself
As in distant lands I roam.
And it's alright,
Though things are happening slow.
Nature won't allow me long respite
From the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
Futures are a bother,
I'd rather they were in the past.
If trends last very much longer,
I'm not sure that I can last.

But too often the unexpected happens
And I'm back at square one.
For example I just got a phone call
Which leaves what I just said undone.
But it's alright,
Life's like that I know.
Just when you think there's nothing left,
Here comes the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
And there's not much hope unless you take it slow
During the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

And there's not much choice so the line I'll tow
For The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show

And from the production room I have to broadcast the show
Yes, The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song

This is the next installment of The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play.
Who is it that was squished
By that which looked like a blow fish?
By that I mean Arftock.
Afgan has shrunk back to where he was except for the remaining flesh.
Wendy proclaimed her love
For Harold but was she rising above
her dedication to Ampt?
Stacy I think has slipped, Wendy will realized a discrepancy
In her relationship with Jeff.
Once that's destroyed what will be left
that seems innocent?
Jeff will have issues now to deal with concerning his and Andy's bond.
Was it just the stressful scene
That yielded Adrocotton's obscene
treatment of Jeff?
Oh Wendy played by me you are so pretty and so caring.
Now that you have made a vow
To two men, please tell me how
you'll discern your loyalties?
This is the first time there has been more than four people in the house.
Will the flatfoots find out
And prematurely end the bout
which is the characters' lives?

Which is the characters' lives?

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play

Cast: Stacy- Erin(pre-recorded)
Any-name-beginning-with-"A"- Laura(pre-recorded)
Harold- Kevin(pre-recorded) Wendy- me
Jeff- me
Stacy- Who? Who Wendy? Who do you think that is?

Jeff- Well, whoever it is, he's pretty mangled. I'd say that his arm is not quite positioned so as to be considered human. His compression between the wall and Afthosn's former bulbous size has transformed him into a species unyet known by humankind. And since I am the one who discovered it, I shall name it a "Jeff".

Aoshfid- You can't proclaim someone a new species just because he dislocates some limbs, Jeff.

Wendy- My God. It is, it is. It's Harold!

Jeff- No, it's Jeff.

(LAUGHTER)

Stacy- That's Harold?

Wendy- Harold you know you know you lied to me before you know when the rock and all with the note and you know you said it wasn't you but you know I think that with you hear and the size of my husband and the note I think you know you threw the rock.

Harold- Uhhh.... Wendy.... Please.... Believe me.... I've come to...

Jeff- He's speaking nonsense. Let's knock him unconscious until representatives from the scientific community come by to recognize this "Jeff".

Stacy- Maybe we should call an ambulance.

Adhios- You better call two. You know, I'm not in the best shape myself. If you'll recall, I have an extreme excess of flesh from my former unbelievable size which will have to be shed if I'm ever going to be mobile again.

Jeff- Actually Awestung, you can't shed that flesh, as I proclaim you to be an example of the rare and as of yet undiscovered species "Jeff 2".

Harold- Jeff.... and....

Wendy- Yes dear I mean Harold or am I now what's going on is all this right since I mean will Asohf you know get bigger I mean return you know to what he was unless you know you and I Harold I mean dear are still did the bar fridge get destroyed?

Harold- Stacy.... are.... in....

Adiohi- I think he's trying to say something about Jeff and Stacy.

Stacy- What could he have to say about us?

Jeff- SHut-up Stacy!

Stacy- Wha-? Oh, right. I didn't say anything right then.

Adhiohf- What are you guy's talking about? Are you hiding something?

Harold- Ka.... who.... ts....

Wendy- Well you know I know but I think Harold you know might be trying to say something I think maybe you know we should hear I mean listen-

Jeff- He's not trying to say anything. He's talking gibberish. He's not even a "he", he's a "Jeff".

Aiosh- I don't know Jeff, I have to say that I've always suspected something fishy about you- especially since you're a private investigator.

Stacy- You're a private investigator? Why didn't you tell me that before?

Wendy- You know you know I think I'm getting you know what they call a see a vu or you know a dej again but I think I think unless Stacy you know has a very bad memory for what really strikes her as odd that you know I think she may be acting even you know outside the realm in which we are all but characters in a play you know if Elvis was right.

Stacy- Wha-? What are you talking about Wendy. I would never lie-

Aoshid- You know, I think you're right Wendy. It seems to me that this is the third time that Stacy has been surprised to find out that Jeff is a private investigator.

Jeff- Ha, ha, ha! Look how cute that is. "Jeff 2" has learned English phonetically. Animals are so funny.

Stacy- Oh my God, Jeff! I think they've found us ou-

Jeff- -terly attractive. Yes they have Stacy. They've found us outerly attractive.

Harold- too... geth... er...

Adshf- What's that Harold? What's that you're saying?

Jeff- That's the sound commonly made by that species, a specimen of which we have yet to find more than one. Aiohsion- If I have heard him correctly, it sounded like "Uhhh.... Wendy.... Please.... Believe me.... I've come to... Jeff.... and.... Stacy.... are.... in.... Ka.... who.... ts.... too... geth... er..."

Jeff- Gibberish.

Wendy- Actually you know I think I think you know that well he's saying you know that you and by "you" I mean "Jeff" but the person not the species and Wendy actually you know you know know know each other in such a way that I'm not sure you want us to know.

Jeff- That's silly, Wendy. Stacy and I only met for the first time when she came here. Right Stacy?

Stacy- Of course, I mean I'm not a very good lier, but believe me when I say that Jeff and... I... have... never... met... OH!! (CRYING)

Ahdiosfh- You see! You see!

Jeff- She's just sad about what Harold did to you and Wendy. Remember Jeff 2, how he made you the size of a blimp, almost destroying your house, actually stealing your wife, and leaving you as a different species?

aosdhi- You're changing the subject!

(SIRENS)

Stacy- I hear sirens.

Adsifh- One of the neighbours must have called the police to see what's going on over here. I hope they called an ambulance too.

Wendy- Well you know you know I think I'd like to find out you know what it is that Stacy and Jeff you know and when I say "Jeff" I don't mean the species have in common.

Jeff- Nothing.

Stacy- Ya, Noth- OH!! (CRYING)

Harold- They.... have.... a.... plan.... to....

Aoisbhf- Yes Harold?

Jeff- Shut-up "Jeff".

Harold- Well....

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©Louis Marrone, 1998