March 25, 1998

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Theme Song

But it's alright,
I've been busy I know.
That's why we're recording late at night
For the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

And I didn't screw up and why I don't know
Before the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show

And I'm getting used to being alone
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song

This is the next installment of the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play.
Where did we leave off last?
I just don't know who to ask,

if there's anyone.

Albolden is close to blowing up everyone is leaving him in a huff.
Will Wendy be with Harold
Until they are both very old,

or at least dead.

Stacy has been sitting around, she's been giving advice but no one's been listening.
Will she ever say anything,

(sorry)
Or will she have to sing

so that ears will open?

Jeff seems to be in love with Wendy, though he's a little late she's been spitten by others.
Or did I mean "smitten"?
Love and spit seem to fit in

with each other.

Oh Wendy played by me you are so pretty and so caring.
Your life has become so hard,
I really hope there is a card

that you can play.

Will the house fall down and will we ever see these four again Together in one room,
Or will the, ah, relationship go boom
and never be seen again?

And never be seen again.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play

Cast: Any-name-beginning-with-"A"- Antonio Cedrone

Stacy- Morgan
Jeff- Scott Gorman
Wendy- me

Stacy- Come on Wendy! It's a very simple question to answer. Did you and Jeff have a fling two years ago or not?

Wendy- Yes.

Asodh- Why you- I swear Jeff, if I ever get back to my original size, and regain use of my limbs, I'm going to kill you.

Jeff- Well, I guess I better leave then.

Adohk- No! I mean, you can't leave now. You haven't cured me of my curse.

Stacy- I can't believe this. I really can't believe this. And after I managed to talk directly to you... you go and do this.

JEff- I did it before I ever knew you.

Stacy- But you DID it. Does it the bonds of matrimony mean anything to you?

Jeff- What do the bonds of matrimony have to do with anything.

Adoshfd- Why you- I show you what they mean. Here, just slide your neck into one of my hands.

Jeff- OK, but I don't see how-

Wendy- You know I know we shouldn't be discussing all this now you know with the ceiling coming down you know and agtrontiton still growing you know but you know I think as Hume has pointed out concerning philosophical discourse you know that this dispute here you know is purely verbal you know and your all playing grammarians you know when if you all understood each other but Jeff doesn't understand and that's a shame because he could change his vocabulary you know oh goodness I heard a crash in the kitchen my booze!

Stacy- Wendy! Where are you going?! It's too dangerous! Come back!

Aftrocot- Wendy! No! What about me?!

Jeff- I'll get her!

Wendy- Wha? What are you doing Jeff! Jeff!

(CRASH)

Stacy- Wow! You really threw her.

Jeff- I'm sorry you actually had to see that happen Stacy. I'll understand if you never want to see me again.

Stacy- Well, I may never want to see you again, but it will have nothing to do with you saving Wendy's life.

Jeff- But you were all upset about our fling two years ago.

Stacy- What does that have to do with it?

Wendy- I think you know that my running I mean saving has clear up the disjunction of vocabulary you know because two years ago you know when I was running you know to get my JD you know from the middle of the road in front of a truck that was going fast you know Jeff you know threw me out of the way.

Aohfkj- I remember that.

Stacy- You mean that's what you meant by "fling", Jeff?

Jeff- Well, what else could I have meant?

Stacy- Then you really don't love Wendy?

Jeff- Love her, sure. As much as my nature will allow me to love a married woman, but she's with Ajirk until death do they part.

Stacy- Oh.

Asohfi- Oh, I see. So it's just a matter of getting me out of the way, eh? And how do you propose to do that?

Jeff- Well, if I my investigatorial skills didn't even exist, I'd say you're going to blow up in about twenty-three seconds. But, anyway, even if you didn't die, I'm devoted to only one person.

Stacy- Oh, Jeff.

Jeff- Yes, Stacy?

Stacy- Well, your talking about me aren't y-

Wendy- My God you know if one looks closely I'd say you know that he that is growing you know is beginning to outgrow his clothes his you understand his clothes to be the organ that encases him.

Jeff- Wendy's right. Parts of Adedman is giving way. Blood's squirting out. He's going to blow any minute!

Stacy- That's really gross.

Aoskhf- Quick Wendy! Only you can save me now. Profess your love for Harold and I'll be saved!

Wendy- I love Harold.

Stacy- He's stopped growing!

Aohis- Now say you'll stay with him forever!

Wendy- I'll stay with him forever.

Jeff- He's shrinking!

Ahosihf- I am! I'm shrinking back to my normal size! Ha, ha, ha. I'm back! I'm not going to die!

Jeff- Everyone dies Anamle.

Stacy- Uhm, something's weird. He's getting smaller, but I don't think his flesh is shrinking.

Jeff- You're right. It's just kind of sagging down around him.

Aohif- My God! This is terrible. With this much flesh, how am I supposed to go anywhere.

(CREAK)

Stacy- What's that sound?

Wendy- I think you know that with the size of that thing that was my husband you know the house began to change the focus of it's support you know and now that the new one is gone the old one won't do it anymore you know so that soon you know-

Stacy- The house is collapsing!

Ahsohf- Not my house!

Jeff- Quick, Stacy, hand me that couch.

Stacy- OK, but I don't see how-

Jeff- Wendy, pass me the TV.

Wendy- Here you are JEff and you know I don't really think that anywhere you set those up you know you'll get proper reception because you know the house will fall down on you and you won't be able to see- Oh.

Stacy- You made the couch and TV into a support pillar!

Jeff- As a private investigator, it's very important that I know exactly the structural integrity of any building I'm in.

Stacy- My God! Who is that hunched over by the wall? I think he was crushed by Ahiohs' immense size!

Wendy- No, no! Is that-?

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©Louis Marrone, 1998