November 13, 1998

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play
part 3

Wendy- Would you like a drink Harold? I find drinking helps me express things I might usually not be able to say. I'm getting up to get one anyhow, so it won't be any trouble.

Harold- THank-you Wendy.

(FOOTSTEPS)

ARnold- I don't know what could be so personal Harold. We've kown each other a long time. You know me as a big part of your life.

Harold- I've only known Jeff a couple of episodes.

Jeff- Yes Harold, but I feel I've known you for the majority of my existence. Besides, my investigatorial attributes might be-

Harold- Kicking in any minute now?

(FOOTSTEPS)

Wendy- Here we are Harold. Now why don't you take a quick, hard sip- and be sure to feel it coming down. It likes to be acknowledged.

Harold- Thank-you WEndy.

Harold- Whenever you're getting another.

Wendy- I'll be right back then.

Wendy- Another?

(LAUGHTER)
(FOOTSTEPS)
Jeff- You know Harold. I've been thinking about your situation. Do you think the large gentlemen have found out where you live?

Harold- Probably, yes.

Jeff- Then you'll hide out at my place until we can clear this whole mess up.

ARnold- Good idea Jeff! They'd almost surely come looking here when they find out I'm his friend.

Jeff- And I'm lonely.

(LAUGHTER)
(FOOTSTEPS)
Wendy- Here we are honey. Now you let me know now the moment upon you comes that hankering for a little sweetness from a vessel now, OK Harold? 'Cause I'm ready any moment to help you out.

Harold- Uhm, thanks Wendy.

Wendy- I love you Harold.

Harold- I love you too Wendy.

ARnold- I'm actually more interested in Harold's sordid past. What more did you do to the owner of the diner other than cut her brake line Harold?

Jeff- Did you eat the rest of her pumpkin pie?

(LAUGHTER)

Harold- No, Jeff.
Wendy- Did you have an affair with her?

Harold- No, Wendy.

Arnold- Did you kell him- her- him- her?

Harold- No Arnold, no. It's not so much what I did to her, but what I did to myself in those days to add to her displeasure with me.

Wendy- I'm finding this all very confusing.

Arnold- I'm starting to wonder if maybe Harold didn't do something that would displease us all.

Jeff- Come on how ARnold. I've known Harold almost my entire existence, and I can't imagine that he could do anything to displease me.

Harold- Thanky-you Jeff.

Arnold- You only just met him two episodes ago!

(LAUGHTER)

Wendy- Let Harold speak dear. I've become vessy interested in zee young man's speech. So speech! Speech young man!

Jeff- Are you alright Wendy

Harold- She's alright Jeff.

Arnold- (BLURTS OUT) I performed the sacred incantation, exhuming the spirits of what science calles meteorology, and thus uniting them in what the media is calling "EL NINO". (PAUSE) There. I said it. It's my fault the traditional weather patterns of the globe are being affected. I am our unusually mild winter. And if the owner of that diner has found that out, she might want revenge so much that I may be running from her until one of us dies.

Wendy- El Nino. I saw a report on that. You did that?

Jeff- I always thought you were different Harold.

ARnold- That's ridiculous Harold! Why should she care about that?

Harold- Don't you see Arnold? I have made some people very angry. There's people who have made plans to go places months in advance. And I may have ruined it for them with my careless activities.

Wendy- Wow, "The father of El Nino".

Jeff- Why didn't you tell me before Harold? I would have understood.

(LAUGHTER)

Harold- I'll understand if none of you want to see me again.

Jeff- I'm with you till the end, buddy. We'll get through this together. Right Wendy?

Wendy- Absolutily. Indefinitely. Harold's our friend now isn't that correct tov say now isn't it Arnold- wouldn't you say?

(PAUSE)

Wendy- ARnold?!

Arnold- Well...

To be continued...
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©Louis Marrone, 1998