You've always said that you wish you were older
So that with life you wouldn't need to deal.
But if you just thought of now as what has just past
You can get the same feel-ing.
And it's alright,
As long as you stay off the sauce.
At least first thing tomorrow
Before the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
There's people all around you,
Waiting for you to come back.
They have all you could ever want,
But it's their payment that you lack.
Just in minutes L.J. will be calling.
He only knows about Duncan.
He'll be surprised by the guys who are accompanying him.
Maybe he'll become me biggest fan.
And it's alright,
He used to tour around with Bowie on his show.
And now he's here to make me a pigment of
green
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
And I don't think there's going to be a book-burning
party thought I promised I tried I really did I'm sorry you know.
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
she killed an unkillable plant.
Achocontom is worried for his wife and also doesn't want to have to
sleep with Jeff.
Assuming Harold doesn't demand that,
Assuming honour Wendy's agreement that
she'll live with Harold for ever.
Jeff is now Wendy he has breasts I don't think that he minds one bit
he doesn't even miss
The body in which he lived before.
I guess he's living refutement for
the grass on the other side.
Oh Wendy played by me you are so pretty and so caring.
What is it you learned about Jeff
That makes you know longer think less
of his personality.
All this raises interesting questions as to what makes a person who
she is.
Does the soul reside within the mind,
Or will one in the body find
the key to identity?
The key to identity.
Stacy- So, Wendy/Jeff, what is your hypothesis concerning the importance of the plant I killed? Do you really think it was supposed to be unkillable?
Wendy- Well, that didn't even cross my mind.
Stacy- Well, why else would that millionaire who hired you to find me be so surprised that I was able to kill it?
Wendy- Oh, well, I didn't think that of much importance really. What I found interesting was the drink he made for himself.
Afihos- OK, let's stop right here. I told you guys this was a waste of time. Any idea that Jeff could possibly come up with has to be so off the mark that he gets the ball in the other lane.
Harold- I think we should at least hear him, I mean her, out.
Jeff- Yes you know I know I'm not me anymore you know but I think you know that though no one here ever thought so you know I think you know that I was I mean am smarter than you thought and that no one really listened long enough to understand what I was saying can I have a drink?
Stacy- But I think it must be obvious that that plant was some sort of experiment which went wrong. It was supposed to be immortal and I killed it. That millionaire must want to know how I did it.
Harold- We can at least hear Wendy/Jeff out.
Aoihs- I think we should all try to find the person from Wendy's life that can unlock the portion of Jeff's psychy which holds the information to reverse the mind switching procedure.
Harold- Why don't you go do it by yourself while we try to figure out why Jeff was hired to find Stacy?
Ahofis- Why don't you shut-up?
Harold- What's the matter, Achew, you afraid to leave the house?
Jeff- Well you know Iwouldn't go too far into that you know Harold because if you remember you know Harold had a hard time with doors when he was younger you know because of his father you know and so his fear is very deep-rooted you know and so you could crack him up you know if you start teasing him about doors.
Harold- You mean all that crap about him being afraid of doors because his father had some problem with them was true?
Stacy- Please, Harold, show some sensitivity.
Wendy- You know, I had a fear of bores once; until I realized that Iwas one. Maybe you should try the same thing, Anteepole.
Aoihs- And you want to here what that logic has to say about what some guy was drinking? Come on. How do we know that the longer we wait the harder it will be to switch them back?
Stacy- I don't see any reason why that should be.
Aohios- And I didn't see any reason why Jeff's portion of his mind wouldn't stay unlocked once we unlocked it and switched them back. But you said it was all "semantics". Well I say back to you: It's all semantics. It's all semantic's.
Wendy- Who's Semantic?
Jeff- Well you know I think we should all stop fighting now you know and start doing something because you know if we spend all our time just talking about doing stuff we'll never do anything you know just like that guy said in that funny movie about Jesus.
Harold- Actually, I'm kind of interested in finding out more about Atflap's fear of doors.
Ahoisfyu- You mean you would risk the permanent switching of Jeff's and Wendy's (she-whom-you-claim-to-be-your-wife) minds, just so you can find out more information to torment me with?
Stacy- Guys, I think the important thing here is to hear what Jeff thought was so interesting about the drink that millionaire, who hired him to find me for killing his unkillable plant, made.
Aghsfj- Says you.
Harold- I agree with Stacy now. Go ahead, Wendy/Jeff.
Wendy- Well, the interesting thing was that he made himself a Ward 8.
Jeff- Oh you know I used to drink Ward 8's all the time you know by the river but you know my mother said or always used to say you know but she meant it only for me and I'm sorry mommy can I have a drink?
Stacy- But what's so significant about him drinking a Ward 8, Wendy/Jeff?
Wendy- Well, a Ward 8, as I'm sure you already know, consists of a shot of rye, orange juice, grenadine, soda and a twist of lime or lemon.
Anbvd- This guy is going to make you all look very stupid for listening to him.
Harold- Door man, please.
Stacy- Go on, Wendy/Jeff.
Wendy- Well, it occured to me to look at the actual brand names of ingredients he used. That is a habit I have formed naturally along with all of my investigatorial skills. For example, I noticed long ago that you wear boxers, Harold.
Harold- Actually, I don't wear underwear, Wendy/Jeff.
Wendy- You mean you've never worn boxers?
Harold- Well, sure, ya.
Wendy- Ah ha!
Jeff- Well you know I know I shouldn't talk too much you know since I'm not really in a position to contribute anything you know but since I'm Jeff as well as Wendy you know I had conflicting feelings and so began to ramble on so as to forget the inner turmoil I'm in.
Harold- Well Ifind that to be a very silly thing to do Jeff/WEndy. Why just the other day I was walking down the street- or was it at night? Do you ever do that, forget if it's day or night? Anyway-
Anxcvnu- Yes?
Harold- No, I was beginning a sentence.
Aohsf- What were you beginning?
Stacy- So, Wendy/Jeff, what did you find so interesting about the brand
of ingredients the millionaire used to make his Ward 8.
Ahoifd- This is where I plug my ears. Because if I have to listen to one more stupid thing that mind has to say- through the lips of my wife no less!- then I swear to God, I'm going to crack!
Harold- I can't believe you're actually covering your ears.
Stacy- So what was so odd about the ingredients, Wendy/Jeff?
Wendy- Well...
©Louis Marrone, 1998