I'm going to go check up on things
That were occuring while I was away.
And perhaps get the chance to relate some things
That happened during my holiday.
And it's alright
At least they'll be something to do when I'm
all alone.
Which will probably be all my time on
The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
I'll try not to say everything
In this half in which I'm allotted to speak.
In truth when one tries to say it all in one
It comes out sounding very weak.
But I guess that's how the world was made
You can't have it all in one package.
Though I wish it would all just pass
And become memories of old age.
But it's alright,
I'm not really that depressed you know.
I pump it all out in about two hours
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
And now I'll leave or they'll be nothing left
For the second running of the Wednesday @
22:00h Show.
He couldn't follow it.
Since it's disjuncted I'll say right now that Adrocon wants to know
how
He has ended up in this way.
It will seem like the things that he will say
are from another brain.
Stacy if I recall will be upset or angry I can't remember which.
Perhaps the change will do her good.
She may find it very helpful food
for her disturbed mind.
Jeff may need to engage in some private investigatorial stuff
To unravel how it is
That there could be a connection with his
remaining life.
Oh Wendy played by me you are so pretty and so caring.
Since you can look into peoples souls
Perhaps you'll discern what thoughts may be roll-
ing through your brain.
It's not unlike Christmas in that there exists this haitus within their
lives.
I guess every one needs to get away
From the bustle of the everyday,
assuming life's that way.
Assuming life's that way.
Jeff- You know, Arginaway, the hardest thing about saying your name is that it's always different.
Harold- That lends to his mystery. Hey! I hear the Scientific Community is having a bar. b. q. Do you wanna go?
Ajfkdsl- To the barbeque?
Harold- Isn't that what I just said?
Stacy- Are we playing at questions?
Wendy- Well I don't know and I think that we should go to the barbeque because barbeque's are good from what I hear they are goooooood but I just wish that there weren't so many ‘b'‘s in barbeque there's two and I think that I know that's not a lot but it sure does feel like it and were we playing pool and is that my drink and is this a question?
Jeff- Well I don't know, Harold. I have something against The Scientific Community from a past time that I don't fully understand because I haven't read enough of my past to know for certain exactly what I'm all about and what my situation fully is..
Wendy- I understand completely.
Stacy- You people suck. All of you. I mean really look at yourselves. You all suck.
Ajkl;ddo- I, personally, am not offended by that.
Harold- Me neither.
Jeff- The Scientific Community is. They have barbeque's all the time up there and are easily offended.
Stacy- Why do you assume that the Scientific Community is ‘up'?
Harold- I heard it was sideways. You know, next to you. There it is. There's a commercial... two hands extended out to each other in perfect harmony. Have you seen it?
Jeff- Ask Stacy.
Harold- What would I know about it?
Ajkdls- I heard we were going to a barbeque.
Harold- A bar. b. q?
Stacey- Yeah! A barbeque!
Jeff- What barbeque? I've erased the thought completely from my mind.
Wendy- Well that sort of thing happens often more often than you think you stop to think and then start and lose it again it comes and it goes see but the thought of booze never goes no no it warms me in the winter and it cures me of my ills and did somebody say basketball I like that game.
Ahjkljh- Wendy. I've been thinking a lot about you.
Wendy- Should we talk about this with everyone all here and accounted for and counting one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve fourteen twenty?
Auiopew- I've been thinking a lot about the way you talk. There is professional help you could get, you know. These things can be cured.
Stacey- This from the guy with no name. Was it Artool or Abscess or Attica? I forget.
Jeff- Am I the one with the investigatorial skills? I think I am, but I can't remember. If so, then maybe such skills would come in handy at a barbeque filled with Scientific Community and Paramedic Men.
Harold- ParaMEDIC men are going to be there? Wow. Everyone's going to be there. We HAVE to go, you people! We HAVE to! Don't you understand? There's a bar. B. Q! This is where it all goes DOWN, man. Us! Them! Down!
Aiojwj- Get a hold of yourself, man! Good God, you'd think we'd never gone outside before.
Stacey- I've been outside. Before... all this. All this excess flesh shrinking and growing. And before all this suckiness that I endure weekly from you people. I don't even understand what the hell you're talking about all the time.
Adroig- Me neither. But I heard we were going to a barbeque.
Jeff- Who'd you hear it from, Argasm?
Ajkl;ee- Harold.
Harold- Ohhhhh yes. I know about the barbeque. I know all about it. I heard it from Stacey.
Stacey- I heard it from Jeff.
Jeff- I heard it from Wendy.
Ahdbuiopa- Uh oh.
Wendy- Well you know I heard that it was happening but I'm not sure about the date and the Scientific Terrific Community are talking all about it but they didn't tell me much see I was in the grocery store and there was this person buying cabbage see and it looked like lettuce and the lady charged the person for lettuce which is cheaper than cabbage it's five cents you understand that it was right then that I bought all these carrots to squeeze into my booze has anyone seen my booze has anyone seen my radishes?
Ayuioehkj- Uh oh.
Jeff- Is there or is there not a barbeque?
Stacey- If there was, would we go to it?
Harold- Only if they were serving Arisnobalium's excess flesh. Mmmmm.... excess flesh......
Abhioes- I do not believe that a barbeque is occurring. Further, I do not believe that we would be invited to it if it were occurring, which it is not.
Jeff- What's so bad about us?
Stacey- You're ugly. And so are you, Harold. You are both terrifically ugly men.
Jeff- What's so bad about us?
Harold- Absolutely nothing, Jeff. We are perfectly normal. No sign of any small mental deficiencies among THIS group no sir...
Wendy- NO SIR!!!!
Absolute- Hell. I'm going to find a barbeque. Any barbeque. We've talked so much about it. I think that's what we all need. Really.
Jeff- Maybe you're right, Avarice. Wow. Completely forgetting everything about one's-self sure does change your perspective. I mean, everyone else is taking vacations. We're always cooped up here. Let's go. Let's go find a barbeque!
Stacey- Lead the way!
Wendy- OH yes OH a barbeque oh a vacation will be fine lace on a satin pillow for me doesn't anyone else think so Harold will you come to a boozaque I mean a barbeque?
Harold- Well...
But when one is by oneself
One need not worry about other thoughts.
The ones circulating in her brain
For entertaining are more than lots.
And it's alright,
You haven't jumped ahead twenty-seven minus
a score.
It's only two days being packed into one
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
I managed not to brush my teeth,
The five days I was away.
In fact now that I'm thinking of it
I haven't brushed them to this day.
I'm banking on the deceit of dentists,
And faith in my bacterial force.
And yes I'm prepared for losing the battle,
But my strategy won't let me of course.
And it's alright,
I'm not sure in what order these songs will
go.
But it's all figured out in the only head
listening
To the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
And now I'll leave or they'll be nothing left
For the second running of the Wednesday @
22:00h Show.
This is the next installment of the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play,
It seems the last was not that much out of wack,
Second chances sometimes come after the fact.
And this is certainly one.
Avro has perhaps agreed to begin again before he thought of it.
I think it might not be to bad,
To make the right decisions without having had
to think about it.
Stacy has been pulling for truce even though she was taken in by Jeff's
ruse.
Maybe this time she's stumbled upon,
The correct way to run investigations
upon her self.
Jeff as always is being stubborn though I know to say "always" is not
quite the truth.
In fact he used to be not very far,
From being like the Jelly-Fish he was barred
from being bludgeoned by.
Oh Wendy played by me you are so pretty and so caring.
Do you really think that forgetting's the best?
What's good for you might be bad for the rest
who don't drink as much.
We'll see what happens now I'm not quite sure when they connect just
quite how
Sense is going to be consistent
With how it's been even if it's been bent.
If it's the same it's smart.
If it is the same then it's smart.
Harold- Yes, so am I. You know, I have to say, I wasn't too keen about it at first, but by the end I really loosened up.
Aiohs- You couldn't have loosened up more than when all your limbs were disjointed.
(LAUGHTER)
Harold- No Afrend, you're right. But seriously though, I feel like a new person.
Jeff-You know, I had a great time too. And Stacy, I never knew you were such a good dancer. Where did you learn?
Stacy- Well, in my days void of thought I found myself in a dance studio once. Since I had not reason to go anywhere I just naturally did what was occuring all around me. Actually, I did so well that they didn't even charge me for the lessons.
Jeff- Well thoughtlessness can often make one the best student.
Wendy- Well you know now not to refer too much to what we've been you know but you know I was saying before we left you know that maybe we should all forget ourselves you know and since we all seem to be getting along not to change what we're sharing by speaking it aloud you know but I was thinking maybe we could start again like I had said you know and be friends all again.
Stacy- I agree with Wendy. I think we should all start with clean slates and rebuild our friendships together.
Jeff- You don't think it's too late?
Stacy- It might be. But we won't know if we don't try.
Harold- I don't trust Jeff. Even if he agrees to do this, how do we know he's being in earnest.
Jeff- I don't even know Earnest.
(LAUGHTER)
Adsfoh- Well, I might worry more about you Harold. You're the one who blew me up to a size bigger than my house and who tried to steal my wife from me.
Harold- Are you ever going to let me forget that.
Stacy- No, no, that's good. We have to remember in order to forget. Isn't that right, Wendy?
Wendy- Well you know I'm not quite sure you know because well I I I drink you know when Iwant to forget and that works pretty well well well what was I saying and you know well I think it might be good for some you know but maybe not for others though you know I don't want to not say anything but well yes.
Stacy- See?
Jeff- I think Stacy's right. How are we going to know what to forget if we don't know what it is we're supposed to forget?
Asioh- I think Jeff's back to his old self.
Harold- Well what about you, Ashflow? You were pretty willing to give up Wendy to save your own life. Or have you forgotten that?
Afhois- I forget very little, Harold. Very little.
Stacy- Come one guys. I think you can try a little harder. The idea is to acknowledge what the other has done, and then to forgive him. Can't you forgive Harold for his deceit and black-mail, Abigman?
Aoish- Oh please. You can't expect me to do that. He almost killed me! And we were supposed to be friends then. If that's how he treats his friends, then I don't want him.
Harold- But I was confused, Alpo. You guys had kicked me out of the house so you could let stacy in. I felt betrayed. I thought you should have kicked Jeff out of the house, not me. That's why I came up with the idea to accuse him of having a plan to-
Ahsdfo- -you what! You mean that was a lie too? But Jeff, why were you acting so guilty?
Jeff- I was just going with the flow.
Aohdfs- Well, that's ridiculous. I guess you haven't changed after all, eh Jeff? You're still your sweet stupid self.
Jeff- What does "stupid" mean?
(LAUGHTER)
Stacy- But what about our plan to destroy one of Wendy's personalities? You mean, I didn't come up with any plans at all?
Jeff- That plan never existed. I was just trying to cover up my more dastardly plan that Harold said I had which itself never existed.
Wendy- Well I glad that's figured out you know because I have to say that I was starting to get paranoid you know not knowing what to say to who and how you know because it might have been the wrong personality talking who wouldn't have known what occured in the past you know with who I was talking to.
Stacy- But you can look directly into people's souls, Wendy. You should have known all along that Jeff was lying about wanting to destroy one of your personalities.
Wendy- Well well well I did you know but that was only there and there are other places you know where things are different and there are so many places that I forget where I am and you know I could be anywhere so you know really though I can see I see so much that I can't say which is which and so it's really only a guess you know pass me my drink?
Harold- But what about Jeff's investigation of Stacy? We never did find out what that was all about. You were going to tell us, Stacy, but you got interupted. Interupted, in fact, but our wish to know about the skeletons hiding in Acloset's you know where.
Asohi- We're not talking about me right now, buddy, we're talking about Stacy.
Jeff- Maybe if you guys talked at the same time we could hear both stories.
Afiohsi- Shut-up, Jeff.
Stacy- Come on guys. I thought we were going to be friends again.
Aihos- We never agreed on that.
Harold- Well I'm willing to go through the process of forgiving and forgetting if everyone else is.
Afhdo- Oh sure, you have the most to be forgiven for, and the least to forgive.
Harold- I would beg to differ.
Jeff- I begged once and I didn't get one friend.
Stacy- Well, I'm willing to do this now. I'll even be the first person to clear up the air. I'm going to finish the story about why Jeff was hired to investigate me.
Harold- Shouldn't everyone agree to be friends first?
Ashio- I'm not ready to.
Stacy- That's alright. I'm offering this as a token of my friendship to you.
Jeff- So finish the story. This will be good research for me.
Stacy- Well...
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©Louis Marrone, 1998