May 20, 1998

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Theme Song

My father has been telling me
Trying's what gets one a job.
The possibility does not exist for it
To land in your lap with a plop.

The anxiety is getting to me,
At least once in a while.
One's lack of years is no comfort
As the years continue to pile.

But it's alright
Until I focus on what little hope
There is for a guy waiting for Godot
Except on the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
I can't make any mistakes now,
The computer won't let me.
So the one thing that I'm really good at
Has been taken over by technology.

It will be quite interesting
To see what the millenium has in store..
Everyone's planned years ahead as if nothing will change
But if that's so, what is a millenium for.

And it's alright
I'll at least be mopping a floor.
And of course I can always reminise
About the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

And Robin will be calling in from Saskatoon
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

And summer looks like it's coming real soon
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song

This is the next installment of the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play
It's amazing what people will hold on to
Like this house that looks like it is ru-
ined unreversably.
Alko does not quite believe the situation he's found himself in now.
He's always thought he was a normal guy
Who would always be living a normal life.
I guess life deceived him.
Stacy has the house to herself, at least in the realm of holding up its roof.
So if she's been seeming aloof
It's cause if she lets go, there goes poof
The house they're staying in.
Jeff is getting nervous he was not aware that Wendy could peer into souls.
Now his devious plan may be
Revealed by she-who-can-see.
He should have accounted for that.
Oh Wendy played by me you are so pretty and so caring.
You've always seemed to know not very much.
It appears that it's just that you're such
An unjudging soul.
There's still Mr. Paramedic Men and The Scientific Community.
Will the latter take Harold and All?
Will the former be able to haul
Ahomeboy out of his house?
Ahomeboy out of his house.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play

Cast: Wendy-me
Stacy- Trevor

Harold- me

Jeff- me

Any-Name-Beginning-With-"A"- me

Harold- Well, Wendy? Are you going to share with us what Jeff has been planning?

Aoishf- Yes dear, I've become quite interested by now. So far I've been deceived, in one way or another by everyone in this house- oh, I didn't mean you Mr. Paramedic Men, or you The Scientific Community- and I'd like to know why the last person I would believe would do such a thing has... done such a thing.

Stacy- Uhm, before we go any further, I would just like everyone to notice that I'm still holding up the ceiling by myself, and I'm not quite sure how long I can do it.

Harold- Get Mr. Paramedic Men to do it.

Stacy- Oh, would you, Mr. Paramedic Men?

Jeff- Stacy, no. We- I mean The Scientific Community- need Mr. Paramedic Men to take "Jeff" and "Jeff 2", the two new species I've discovered, away.

Harold- Will you be quite about that already, Jeff. You know that I-

Jeff- -you mean "Jeff"-

Harold- -am just hideously mangled, and that Abitfohi-

Jeff- -you mean "Jeff 2"-

Harold- -is surrounded by the excess flesh left over from my spell on him which rendered him bigger than the house.

Aidhofs- And rendered my house in the dilapitated state you see it in now.

Stacy- Speaking of which, I'm still holding it up.

Wendy- Well you know I haven't said anything yet and-

Harold- -Go ahead, Mr. Paramedic Men, help Stacy hold up the house.

Jeff- No!

Wendy- Well you know I know why it is that Jeff is so vehemently against what is being proposed you know and it might interest all to know why Harold is so much for it but now aren't we all so full of that thing you know that makes others believe it's something else when really the things I've seen not that they're anything that I can say for certain are there though I haven't been wrong yet you know was I talking about what's inside people's souls or what's in my drink?

(LAUGHTER)

Ahois- Look, Mr. Paramedic Men are helping Stacy.

Stacy- That's a relief. I'm just going to let go now, OK guys? You got it? Great. Wow. I have to say that I felt very helpless holding up that ceiling- not only by myself, but in such a position that were someone to wish to punch me I would have no other defense than to drop my arms and let the ceiling fall on all of us.

Aseofh- Not on me thought, right, Stacy?

(LAUGHTER)

Jeff- Now, what good is The Scientific Community if Mr. Paramedic Men aren't available to take you two away?

Harold- Wendy, I think it's time you told us all what Jeff has planned; though, I already know myself.

Jeff- Who do you know?

Stacy- There is no plan! There is no plan!

Aoihis- Ho, ho, ho. Why are you so defensive all of a sudden.

Stacy- I'm not defensive. It's just that we've been telling you all along that there's no plan, and you haven't believed us. Meanwhile, the house is falling apart.

Harold- But you said, about three episodes ago, that you and Jeff at least had the plan to steal away one of Wendy's personalities.

Wendy- Well you know-

Stacy- I did? Well yes, I did. But that was just to get you guys off of our backs.

Aofshid- I'm finding her very inconsistent.

Wendy- Well you know-

Stacy- I'm not inconsistent. I'm just confused. There's too much going on. You look like a beached whale who just had liposuction, Harold's limbs are all bent out of shape, Wendy's drunk and claiming to be able to look directly into people's souls, Jeff, it seems, has been lying to me since I met him, Mr. Paramedic Men are the only people keeping up the house, and The Scientific Community is here; not to mention that I find myself hard to understand myself! No wonder I can't keep what I know and what I don't know, straight in my head. Wendy- Well you know-



Jeff- Not now Wendy. Well, it's finally happened. I hope you two are happy. I should have had you destroyed when I found you. But no, I had to have the fame and fortune that discovering two new species would bring. I didn't think first of what two such heartless creatures could do to such an innocent child like Stacy.

Wendy- She's not inno-

Jeff- and now she's sad. Sad. I never thought I'd see this day. Well damn me. Damn me! I will know better for next time. Come on, Wendy. We don't need these people.

Stacy- Are you sure?

Jeff- What?

Stacy- Well, what are we going to do without them? They've been our whole lives forever. I can't remember a single moment of my life without them.

Jeff- You know, it's strange- and I've commented on it before- but neither can I.

Harold- Join the club.

Ahoisf- Well I'd rather live without you than to not live at all.

Jeff- You don't mean that Atall.

Wendy- Well you know I know that some of you don't believe it and that's alright you know but I know and that's good at least I know enough that I try to drink it away, but you know I know what each of you are at least that's what my mother always said but then I couldn't believe her because I always knew she was lying but don't ask me why but now that we all know or at least hint I think I can say what it is.

Jeff- What are you talking about, Wendy?

Wendy- I'm talking you know but "about" is different or at least I'm trying to say that there's something there and you know you all have it and see it you know but I can say it you know but when will that be at least I'm drinking.

Harold- You mean you can explain to us our entire existence?

Stacy- Wendy, can you really tell each of us our purpose for living, our reason for being who we are?

Wendy- Well...

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©Louis Marrone, 1998