January 21, 1998

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play

Stacy- I find it very saddening that Jeff has decided to leave.

Arnold- He hasn't quite decided that yet Stacy. Actually, he's on the verge of deciding now. What's it going to be boy, yes or no?

Jeff-That depends on the question Alberton.

Aldon- Well, obviously the question would be are you going?

Jeff- Going to what? Going to "stay", or "go"?

Abert- You're exasperating me Jeff. b Frankly, at this point, I don't care either way. Stacy has just come to visit Wendy and I for the first time. We haven't seen her in years. We have a lot of catching up to do. Your indecision making is only putting that all off. The only reason I mught have the least bit ;;investment in what you might decide is to find out exactly what is going on between you and Stacy, because there's obviously something very funny going on between you.

(LAUGHTER)

Jeff- Funny Ardoldert? WHat do you mean? I don't even know this woman. Right?... Uhm...well...ick...here I am...Uhm...yes...I...I,I,I am...well...

Arold- See! See! You can't even talk to her!

Wendy- Oh come now arteroldenalboldertan you know when we were young and I always wished that you know you know that when you know would talk i always found that you didn't have that thing that people point to as that which makes one talk you know but my mother always said and you know but i can't have too many lines you know because even though their less they're so much longer and you know that's not is that bias or am I just drinking but i you jeff when is the time?

Stacy- It's alright Wendy, you don't have to defend us. To tell the truth I DO think I know Jeff from somewhere but I can't place where.

Al- Then why do you talk so funny when your words are directed at him?

Stacy- Oh that. Well I didn't even notice I had done that until you mentioned it just now. Actually it's a purely spontaneous phenomenon that has effected me since I was a child. I'm surprised I never did it in front of you in the past. The fact that it happened when I tried to talk to Jeff is purely coincidental. Kind of funny actually.

Albold- Then why don't you and Jeff have a conversation now, and try to find out where you might know each other from.

Stacy- No.

Jeff- No.

Wendy- WEll isn't that nice arnert and you know i'm afraid that there is someone whom whom whom Hume Hume Hume has gotten a bad rap lately you know for being crrrrrazy but that's crazy you know because he never ever said anything and that outside of what can be said but you know Jeff that if I didn't know better I'd think there wiz somting else you know Jeff?

Jeff- Yes Wendy?

Wendy- How are you?

Jeff- Goo Wendy- In fact, against my better judgement, which as a private investigator- did I say "investigator", I meant "banker"- is quite ordinary, except when I'm wearing the right pants or eating jelly-fish, I've decided to stay. What do you think of that? What do you think of that? Now I don't have to feel lonely or insecure. You guys aren't leaving, are you?

Atternold- No Jeff. Actually, I'm q;uite curious to hear about you're banking career, about which I've heard so little.

Stacy- Yes, I'd like to hear about the career of he-in-this-room- who-is-a-banker as well.

Wendy- Well well well should i you know provide for everyo\ne something to occupy their hands or minds depending how you take your drink drink drink did i say "drink" i meant does anyone would anyone care for a beverage?

Stacy>

Jeff > No.

Arn >

Wendy- OK then I'll be right back with drinks for everyone.

(FOOTSTEPS)

(LAUGHTER)

Arnold- Well Jeff, we're waiting.

Stacy- Yes Alberolden, that is quite correct, as I say to you that we are waiting quite expectingly.

Jeff- Well...well. Banking is... Banking is quite fun. You know I get to help out people everyday. Giving money, receiving money. Why just the othe-

Wendy- Here we are everyone and you know i'll just leave them here on the table and you know how youy can all help me i mean yourselves and if you can't finish it you know i'd be happey to help you but i'm sorry jeff you were saying?

Jeff- Ok! Ok! You've caught me in a lie Wendy. I'm not really a banker, though I know my private investigatorial rhetoric led everyone to believe it so

Stacy- Did he say Private Investigatorial?

Jeff- She heard correctly. I'm really a private investigator.

Stacy- So then I can mention that badge on his nose without embarrassing him?

Jeff- She's correct. That's where I put my badge when I'm...I'm...undercover.

Wendy- Under what?

Jeff- I'm doing a case right now.

Albeold- Does it have anything to do with why Wendy and I have different visitors everyday for short periods of time?

Jeff- No.

Wendy- Well I'm very confused now you know because i thought jeff was a private investigator and then he wasn't and then he was but now he is and you know i'm not sure i can really call him jeff anymore because you know that outside of his i mean your profession you know i think very little of you or rather very much in a little way.

Jeff- I'm sorry Wendy. But rest assured, I AM a private investigator.

Anderold- Then who are you investigating?

Jeff- I'm not at liberty to say.

Albert- Well it's not Wendy or I.

Jeff- No.

Wendy- Is it Harold because you know he's left.

Jeff- no.

Stacy- Ask him if it's me?

Jeff- Well...
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©Louis Marrone, 1998