Febuary 11, 1998

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Theme Song

But it's alright,
If I don't get it I won't lose control.
Maybe there's something better waiting for me
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

I'm on the internet and I'm hanging ten
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

I've made promises and I'll make them again
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
And "With Standing" only means I could have shown more interest
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song

This is the next installment of the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play.

A rock's been thrown through the window.
Who did it we just don't know.
But it must have been Harold.
Artolden might be relieved that the subject has strayed so far away from his own inequities.

But conversation like surfing the net.
The train of thought you want you can't get
Unless you are God.
Stacy you're welcome now, after this your space in the song will be unambiguously yours.

Everyone needs to be hazed.
That's just how society is raised.
My hands were tied.
Jeff I must say that your unrelentlessness in not saying much

Has maintained the uncertainty in
The genetics of your next of kin.
Are you aware of this?
Oh Wendy played by me, you are so pretty and so caring.

I hope that you really don't mind
That to your wisdom everyone is unkind.
I believe in you.
Now that I've taken a step further in my computeral endeavours,
You'll be hearing very soon
The next error that will surely balloon
Into catastrophe.
Into catastrophe.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play

Jeff- Where did you get such a fine specimen of igneous rock for your garden Alberton?

Abeart- Actually Jeff, this is an interlocking brick.

(LAUGHTER)

Jeff- I'm glad someone laughed. Now Arcototen, let me see that note so I can perform a hand-writing analysis.

Stacy- He-to-whom-I-cannot-speak-to-directly has many talents. I wonder what else he can do.

Jeff- If I may assume that I am talking to the voice in my head, I can say directly to her that the private investigatorial profession requires talents in many areas. It is the most suffucal vocation of any- except maybe hair dressing.

Wendy- I like I like I like hare-dressing you know know I had a hare once name Johnny until we ate it or did we dye it but I don't know am I am I frassled because of the rock the rock I think I drink do I want a is that a I want to an an interlocking brick.

Askertoten- Well here you are dear. Jeff, could you read the note again?

Jeff-"I'm sorry about the window, but I tripped and the rock in my hand went flying. Just kidding. Actually, this is someone you have all crossed. You are all going to pay for the disgrace you have paid me as soon as there is only three people in the house so that I can enter without exceeding the legal limit. PS I may kill one of you to bring down the numbers."- you know, really, it could be worse.

Stacy- He's so brave.

Jeff- And by the look of the hand-writing I would have to say that this individual is circa six feet tall, right-handed, with red hair, short legs, large hips, a beard, a one-bedroom apartment, two heads, very long arms, and six legs.

Stacy- I wish that I had the talents of he-to-whom-I-gravitate- more-towards-with-every-moment-but-to-whom-I-still-cannot-speak- to-directly.

Wendy- Don't you think don't you think and when I say "you" I mean it in the plural to mean to mean mean you were on the night before last or was that my night time thoughts why are you not mean I mean I mean who was it that drank I mean threw the rock?

Abertoten- Brick dear.

Jeff- Hey Actordotten, I know she's your wife and all, but couldn't you be a bit more polite.

Stacy- He-who-is-brave-and-smart is very considerate.

Jeff- And tell her-who-is-music-to-my-ears that I find her very pleasent.

Wendy- Happy Valentine's everyone!

Artolen- Now Jeff, you are a guest in my home and all, but I draw the line at someone telling me how to live my life no matter where they are. You know I am a pretty nice guy. I don't step on anyone's toes very often- and not if I can help it. But you know dad- I mean Jeff- it really gets my goat if someone tries to tell me how to live my life!

Jeff- I'm sorry Acktoten, I didn't know you felt so strongly about it.

Askoteotein- It's alright Jeff. Can I go to the movies tonight? I mean, disregard what I said. (PAUSE)... About the movies.

Jeff- You know Arklox, I could give you a psychological analysis right now based on you last couple of sentences if you'd like.

Stacy- Shouldn't we be trying to figure out who through that crab-

Adore- Brick-

Stacy- through the window. I mean, the two-headed, six-legged, long-armed, six-footed, red-haired, right-handed, bearded, short- legged, large-hipped, one bedroom apartmented individual threatened to kil one of us.

Jeff- To be precise, he said he would kill all of us.

Albertt- Actually Jeff, he said he would kill one of us-

Wendy- Maybe maybe maybe I should call Harold you know you know and apologize because you know I can't live very long if I know that there's someone you know who is in a poor state because of something I did you know because sometimes I don't drink drink I mean think and I do things shelfish selfish shelfish and you know I won't live long or did I say die hard you know especially when he's going to kill kill kill kill I mean hello.

Stacy- I'm not sure calling this Harold person would be such a good ideal Wendy- If it's not him, he might be so mad he might want to kill one of us. Of course, that is unless he's got six legs.

Alberoten- No, he doesn't

Jeff- I'm not so sure. I mean he was wearing those pants.

(LAUGHTER)

(KNOCK KNOCK)

Arnold- Hey! Someone's at the door. WHat should I do?

Jeff- Don't let him in!

Albert- Hey Wendy! What are you doing?

Wendy- You said said said I could get the door next time you know you know and I know you did because I remember it was a few episodes ago and you said said said that I could and you know what my mother said said did I say what what (DOOR OPENS) hello.

Yes yes yes.

Oh now now no.

They should give his merdal I mean medal back.

Ok ok, mom?

oh.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Afterden- Who was it dear? Are you alright?

Wendy- Of course I am dear. I find it odd that you would ask.

Jeff- Well, who was it Wendy?

Stacy- Yes, I would like to reiterate the question of he-of-whom- I-think-in-ways-I-have-yet-to-have-experienced-as-of-yet.

Wendy- Well, I must say that all in all it is not very exciting.

Algeroton- Are you alright dear?

Wendy- Please dear, I do not find your humour amusing. If you must act in such a way I will tell you nothing of my life again.

Jeff- So who was at the door Wendy, as if I couldn't deduce already that it was

Wendy- Well...
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