October 29, 1997



Catcher and the Rye- Encourages Youth Freedom- Jason Mellish




The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Theme Song



Some days make me laugh.
Some days make me cry.
In the past I might have betrayed.
Some days I've even lied.

I've chased things that have missed my grasp,
And been tackled by unbelievable dreams.
And friends have called me in the past.
And we've played on different teams.

But it's alright,
I'm going to liquify my soul.
I'm getting my weekly dose of therapy
On the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.
Thursday I had my heart broke.
Man did Friday make me drink.
The weekend offered nothing
But endless hours in which to think.

Tuesday something funny happened,
I can't wait to tell my friends.
But the hard-cores are a dying breed,
By ten o'clock they're all in bed.

And it's alright,
There's a new breed that doesn't go
Softly into that night
During the Wednesday @ 22:00h Show.

The Wednesday @ 22:00h Show Radio Play


Cast: Albert- Devin Armstrong
Harold- Jorge Nef
Jeff- Michael St. Martin
Wendy- me

(DOOR BELL)

Albert- Coming, coming! I'm coming. Please don't ring the door bell again!

(DOOR BELL)
(LAUGHTER)

Albert- I'm coming! (FOOTSTEPS) I'm walking to the door and am almost there!

(DOORBELL)
(LAUGHTER)

Albert- OK, OK.

(DOOR OPENS)

Albert- Harold! It's you. I wasn't expecting you to get out of your house today. What time is it? Why aren't you in bed?

Harold- It's fourteen hundred hours. I couldn't sleep. I have a problem Albert, and only you can help me.

(LAUGHTER)
(BICYCLE BELL)

Albert- Hey Jeff! Come on up! I'm just talking to my friend Harold!

Jeff- Coming!

(FOOTSTEPS)

Harold- Who is that Albert? I have something kinda personal to talk to you about.

Albert- It's alright Harold. You can trust Jeff. He never talks to anyone- he hardly says a word to me. Besides, he's a private investigator. Maybe he can help you.

Jeff- Hello Albert. And who is this fine looking young man, wearing what appears to be an acetate shirt- no, make that TRI acetate shirt- and lovely corduroy pants; made in Taiwan if I'm not mistaken.God how I love foreign clothing. There used to be a time when I only bought Canadian, but now my motto is "if it from across a border, throw it over your shoulder"

(LAUGHTER)

Jeff- That reminds me of a song I heard just the other day. Do you know the one I'm talking about Albert? By the way, who is this (Jeff)- fine looking young man?

Albert- This is my friend Harold, Jeff. Didn't I tell you Harold? Finest PI in town.

Jeff- Nice to meet you Harold- very nice. You know it's interesting that your name is Harold, and yet you have a receding hairline- premature hairline, Hair-Old.

(LAUGHTER)

Harold- Um, ya. You'll have to excuse me Jeff, I'm a little groggy. But I actually have something important to discuss with Albert.

Wendy- Albert!? What's all that racket!?

Albert- Harold and Jeff are here dear! Why don't you come and say hello!?

(LAUGHTER)

Wendy- Coming!

Harold- Aye, yai, yai! I must say Albert, that the least amount of people I want around to hear his very personal and disturbing news I wish to relate to you, the more you seem to invite.

Arnold- Come on Harold. Wendy's my wife. I'll just tell her later anyway. Oh, and probably John at the garage.

(LAUGHTER)

Harold- Aye, yai, yai!

(LAUGHTER)

Jeff- Was I right, or was I right? Tri-acetate, right?

Harold- Actually, it's cotton Jeff.

(LAUGHTER)

Jeff- Well, they're very similar, very similar. But, corduroy no doubt- can't doubt the material of those pants, no siree.

Harold- I'm not wearing any pants Jeff. I'm so groggy, I forgot to put any on.

(LAUGHTER)
(FOOTSTEPS)

Wendy- Here I am Albert. Why don't you invite our guests in?

(FOOTSTEPS)

Wendy- How are you Harold? You're up late. And where did you get those lovely cotton pants?

(LAUGHTER)

Wendy- How's detective work Jeff?

Jeff- Very good Wendy, very good. I've been honing in on my particular talents and believe I will be very, very good at my job before too long, rather than just mediumly very good. For example, I deduced that Harold, my very good friend here, is wearing pants made in Taiwan, just by looking at them.

Harold- I'm not wearing pants Jeff.

(LAUGHTER)

Albert- So what was it you wanted to talk about Harold? Don't be shy.

Harold- Well, I guess I have no choice. The thing is...

Albert- Yes?

Harold- Well, quite unexpectingly, earlier this day, a very important and disturbing thing occured.

Jeff- Yes?

Harold- I'm not sure you'll believe me when I tell you.

Wendy- Yes?

(BICYCLE BELL)

to be continued...
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©Louis Marrone, 1998