January 7, 1997

The Wed. @ 22:00h Show Radio Play Theme Song

This is the next installment of the Wed. @ 22:00h Show Radio Play,

The new year has come and past,
Some how I knew it couldn't last,
Normal's come back again.
Arnold has relaxed now there is nothing taxing in his life,

Except perhaps his wife Wendy,
And Jeff and Harold and maybe,
his own sanity.
Harold must look for something to do now that there are no schemes

Left for him to exploit,
Right now all I can think of is moist,
To rhyme with exploit.
I think Jeff might come up with something of interest to those,

Who have found a way to make sense,
Of the events having occured hense,
If that's proper English.
Oh Wendy played by me you are so pretty and so caring,

Drinking doesn't make one inept
At expressing those thoughts that are kept
Deep within one's soul.
It's hard to keep up one's life when things keep on refusing to leave one's house.

But the flip side doesn't seem to hold
Much promise of anything but cold
memories of what's been
Memories of what's been.

The Wed. @ 22:00h Show Radio Play
Part 11

Albert- Devin Armstrong
Harold-Jamie
Jeff- Julie
Wendy- me
Jeff- Well. It's been strange living the way we have. It seems that I only remember living for about twenty minutes, once a week. But I haven't lost any weight from lack of nourishment, and I have money in my bank accounts around the world from the international contracts I get from important people all over the world for the private investigatorial needs they have. I can only assume that we are but words on paper, and that our consciousnesses are but activated occasionally with ready-made lives for the entertainment of people, who I can't believe actually exist, listening in as if we were real.

Harold- Shut-up Jeff. You know, you're always saying the stupidest stuff. At first I enjoyed it because I figured you'd be easier to manipulate- but you're so consistently incomprehensable so as to be useless.

Wendy- You know, I can't explain it, but I have a strange feeling today.

Arnold- Maybe you need a drink dear.

Wendy- Maybe you're right Albordholden.

Albert- Oh, wait. Maybe you should talk about it first.

Wendy- What? My feelings?

Jeff- Yes Wendy. If you imagine your feelings as small voices wishing to relate a message to you, trying to express them in your own words might be the best route at translation.

Harold- Shut-up Jeff.

Arnert- No, I agree with Jeff, Harold. You know, I think you're too hard on Jeff. He may not be as dumb as you think. Maybe now that you're wearing pants you think you're all that. Incidentally, Have you been working on the farm today?

Harold- What? What does that- Oh.

(ZIPPER)

Harold- Very funny Arberoldalnt.

Jeff- So what is it Wendy?

Hello? Wendy- Well, I guess it's guilt. But I can't think of anything that I've done that I should feel guilty about.

Jeff- Maybe it's in your nature only to feel good when you've done something for which you should feel guilty. If that's the case, it's only natural that you should feel guilty when there's seemingly no reason to be. It's in my nature to feel good only when I am making sense. However, being a masochist Tommy on the cold rachet so can you into telly frock sammy tom.

Wendy- You really think so Jeff?

(PHONE)

Albold- Now who could that be.

Yes.

I see.

No. Really? I didn't recognize your voice. How have you been?

Wendy- Who is it dear?

Harold- It's Stacy. You know, from the vacation we took to Eliot Lake? She's in town and was wanting to pass by.

Wendy- That's great! Invite her over!

Harold- Come on over Stacy. Do you still have our address?

Great, see you in about twenty minutes. Bye.

This is great, isn't it honey?

Wendy- Yes it is. I just wish I was feeling a little better.

Harold- You're probably going through withdrawl Wendy. When's the last time you had a drink?

Jeff- I hardly see what that has to do with anything Harold. I have a deep sense that Wendy is having a premonitional feeling, aluding to an act she may need to perform very soon- perhaps to one of us.

Harold- Shut-up Jeff.

Albert- Actually Harold, Jeff may be right. As I peruse my own home for the first time in a while, I am happening upon this certificate upon our wall designating the legal capacity of the house. It seems that we may only allow two people other than Wendy and myself inside the house at a time. And that should any threat of an excession of that capacity should arise, it is Wendy's responsibility to designate who may stay and who must leave. With Stacy coming over, there exists the threat of five occupyers of this space, which means that either yourself or Jeff will need to leave, and that Wendy will have to decide which one of you it is.

Jeff- But I don't want to leave.

Wendy- Very well Jeff, you may stay.

Harold- But I don't want to leave either.

Wendy- I'm sorry Harold, but Jeff called it. Besides, though I've found your total lack of respect for others slightly entertaining, given the choice, I would rather have insightful Jeff around than decietful Harold.

Harold- What do you mean deceitful?! What have I done?! You've hardly given me a chance, mistaking my apparent heartlesness for genuine lack of morals; but that's just how I express love.

Jeff- Actually Harold, that shouldn't matter. As Hume has already shown, even should all people be genuinely good, it is still their outward actions which c.an only be judged. Though deep inside I am sure you are very nice, in this world of interaction you aren't. Good-bye

Harold- But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, Wendy? Arolnerbalt? What about me? I'm afraid. I'm pathetic. Jeff, let me be your dog, then I won't help exceed the legal capacity of persons. Watch. Ruff. Ruff. Ruff.

Albert- I'm sorry Harold. You've been replaced.

Harold- I can't believe this. Don't you know you will regret this? Don't you know I'll get my revenge?

ARnold- The plot thickens.

Jeff- Yes, this is very exciting.

Wendy- Hey look everyone the excitpent I mean ment meant ment did i say something other than adrenaline like something I've drunk I mean i think that into me and my childhood have i slipped into something now that someone's leaving or is excitement is that what was lacking the guilt you know is there but somewhere else and you know the revenge seems very appealling in a lack of boredom kind of way and you know I'm wondering why Harold's not wearing pants you know i liked the old ones very much and have i drunk drunk drunk i don't think so but here i am and Jeff?

Harold- I AM wearing pants Wendy.

(LAUGHTER)

Albold- Well, bye Harold.

Harold- I'm not leaving.

Jeff- But you have to, Harold.

Harold- Shut-up Jeff.

(DOORBELL)
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©Louis Marrone, 1998